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Fluffy’s Plans For World Domination

June 15, 2024

June 24 is Cat World Domination Day! This adorable event honors our feline overlords, and is a great time to get some information about appeasing these delightful little bundles of joy and inquisitiveness. Cats may be small, but they have a remarkable ability to captivate us with their charm, and often end up completely wrapping us around their paws. Discover some helpful tips on celebrating with your beloved pet in this article by a local San Antonio, TX veterinarian.

What Exactly Is Cat World Domination Day?

Cat World Domination Day was established in 2012 by the humans who are under the rule of the kitties from the sparklecat blog. It was initially conceived as a birthday present for Fluffy. That’s the official narrative, at least. Unofficially, it could be seen as the day when Man’s Second Best Friend made a bold move towards global domination.

Do Cats Really Want To Take Over The World?

Unfortunately, we are unable to provide a definitive answer to this question, as we have no official form of verification. It is worth noting that the last few individuals who attempted to investigate the subject mysteriously disappeared and have not been located since.

What Would The Consequences Be If These Furry Creatures Actually Managed To Take Over?

What would happen if our feline pals took over the planet? Based on our experience with feline patients, we can provide a more informed answer regarding what to expect.

Fluffy has a comprehensive list of official demands, which are as follows:

  • Statues: One can anticipate the installation of grand feline statues in every town square.
  • Naming Conventions: It’s quite possible that all streets and towns could be renamed after renowned feline figures. Considering the limited number of well-known feline celebrities, it is only natural that every town would be adorned with numerous streets, drives, avenues, roads, parkways, circles, courts, and lanes named after Garfield, Sylvester, and Jones (from Alien.)
  • Parks and Recreation: One potential infrastructural change that could be implemented is the addition of catnip gardens in every town.
  • End the Dread of Mondays: As a tribute to Garfield, one might anticipate the removal of Mondays from the calendar. It would be substituted by another Tuesday.
  • Fishponds and Aviaries: Fluffy may very well demand that there be stocked ponds and moats in front of every home. This one is actually more plausible than you may think. In ancient China, cats held a special place in the hearts of the villagers, who went to great lengths to ensure their furry companions were well taken care of. As a testament to their adoration, fishponds were dedicated solely to providing nourishment for these beloved feline friends.
  • Food/Water Stations For Strays: One good thing we may see would be an increase in support and resources for homeless kitties. This one does have some precedents in reality. In Turkey, for example, stray cats are essentially regarded as communal pets. Many businesses generously provide food and water for them, creating a welcoming environment for the kitties to relax and nap in comfort.
  • Updated Building Codes: Does your home have a walkway and catio included for your beloved feline companion? Does Fluffy have a bed and a cozy window seat in every room, along with at least one cat tower? If not, you might be required to carry out specific renovations.

Is There Any Evidence To Suggest That Cats Are Plotting To Conquer The World?

We haven’t found any concrete files or hard data on this topic yet. Nevertheless, it is important to take into account certain historical clues.

Let’s start with ancient Egypt. Fluffy successfully persuaded the ancient Egyptians to regard her as a divine being. There is also a cat goddess in Egyptian mythology. Interestingly, in ancient Egypt, cats were held in such high regard that when a family’s beloved feline passed away, her humans would shave their eyebrows as a sign of mourning. The Sphynx is undoubtedly another remarkable illustration of the high regard (or perhaps trepidation) that cats commanded in that particular society.

Fluffy also did quite well in ancient Siam. She was adored by numerous royal and noble families, receiving the utmost care and attention.

Cats have also made their presence known in some less dignified manners. It’s fascinating to discover that even centuries ago, our feline friends left their mark on medieval manuscripts and ancient Roman buildings!

Our feline friends have apparently been covertly preparing for this takeover for many years. Fluffy has dedicated a significant amount of time to honing her claw and teeth skills, her stalking techniques, her pouncing skills, and, of course, her ability to teleport using wormholes.

In addition to their martial arts training, kitties have been pursuing other endeavors. They are dedicated to honing their computer programming skills, often found napping on laptops and playfully traversing keyboards. They have been engrossed in reading, often using books as their napping spots. Our feline companions have also explored a wide range of professions, gaining knowledge in areas such as espionage, theft, politics, and retail, among others.

Lastly, it’s important to acknowledge that cats can be incredibly cute, despite their natural instincts as skilled hunters. These adorable, seemingly harmless creatures are responsible for the deaths of countless small animals annually!

What Exactly Is The Cat Treatise?

One undeniable testament to the cats’ quest for global dominance lies in the Cat Treatise, alternatively referred to as the Tamra Meow or The Cat-Book of Poems. This manuscript is believed to be an ancient samut khoi text, dating back to the 14th to 18th centuries. It was meticulously crafted by Buddhist monks during that time. The book, as you might have already surmised, focuses entirely on our beloved feline companions. This is proof that kitties have been meowpulating us for a very, very long time.

How Can We Thwart The Potential Rise Of Feline Supremacy?

We can explore some potential solutions to prevent the planet from being overwhelmed by our feline companions.

First and foremost? Make sure to have your feline overlord spayed or neutered. Overpopulation is a significant problem, and contributes to the high number of homeless cats worldwide.

Ensuring the happiness, health, and contentment of your beloved feline ruler is also of utmost importance. Consider getting a new toy or some catnip for Fluffy to appease her. You could also try dedicating some additional time to petting or playing with her.

Another way to ensure the safety and well-being of your cat is by keeping her indoors. By taking these precautions, you can effectively prevent Fluffy from executing her world domination scheme while also ensuring her safety from various threats such as cars, weather, predators, parasites, and the risk of getting lost, injured, or worse.

Consider treating your adorable pet to something special. Salmon, chicken, or fish would be suitable options, provided that you carefully remove the skin, bones, and fat.

Consult your vet for additional advice on ensuring the happiness and well-being of your feline overlord.

Schedule An Appointment At Our San Antonio, TX Veterinary Clinic

Has it been a while since your majestic feline ruler has graced your presence? Is it time for Fluffy’s check-up? Feel free to reach out to us at your nearby San Antonio, TX pet hospital at any time!

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North Star Animal Hospital